An 82 year old man was asked to reitire after working 60 years for the same firm: “If I had known it wasn’t going to be steady I would never have taken the job in the first place.

Retirement is like water skiing–if you slow down you go under.

The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.

I approach retirement with mixed feelings: happiness, joy, excitement, ecstacy…

Father: Why don’t you get yourself a job?

Son: Why?

So you can earn some money.


So you would put some money in a bank account and earn interest.


So that when you’re old you can use the money in your bank account…and you will never have to work again.

I’m not working now!